Acceptance

Acceptance
Can be defined as: 

• a readiness or willingness to accept or adapt to a given circumstance.
• recognising a process or, as is often the case, uncomfortable/negative situation, without the temptation to change it.

 

1. What is it? 
2. Why do we need it? 
3. How do we practice it?

 
Learning to accept ‘what is’ and do what is working or has worked for you, can help you to maximise peace of mind to live a meaningful life. 

So what is it exactly?
Does it mean that you totally accept/approve/be passive towards, quit an experience, things, person?
Or perhaps you think it is giving up on your beliefs and just doing what pleases others?
 
Let’s start at the first question.

What is acceptance?
Acceptance is: 

• The ability to accept things that life throws at you – accepting the reality of a situation.

 

• Not resisting what you cannot change – accepting that you had no control over a situation and being able to move forward with clear thought process.

 

• Somehow being at peace about a situation, even when the outcome is not what you wanted.

 

• Learning how to overcome a situation and accept it for what it is in that moment.

 

• Knowing when to let go of experiences, situations that are limiting you, causing ill health.

 

• Knowing when you are wasting too much time and effort on a situation you are struggling to accept.  What is it taking from you?

 

• By refusing to accept a situation or the like, you essentially are clinging to the idea that you wanted things to go a different way, have a different outcome.

 
Why do we need acceptance?

• Sometimes you may refuse to accept things, even when they are out of your control.  When you start to move towards accepting these things, you move toward peace and being able to deal with the situation.

 

• Acceptance is beneficial for your overall wellbeing. In learning to accept that the experiences you have in life, are interpreted, acted upon and thought of by you, you have the ability to view/accept these experiences in a way that you choose.

 

• By practicing acceptance, you may feel calmer and experience less anxiety, or even feel less overwhelmed.

 

• Acceptance allows you to move from feeling like you are stuck to feeling like you can move toward where you want to be instead.

 
How do we practice acceptance?

Well for this one, you have to make a conscious choice to do something.

• By acknowledging that you may have had no control over the situation.

 

• By shifting your focus to what you can control and accept.

 

• By allowing your feelings to come and go, accepting them for what they are at that moment.

 

• By catching yourself - literally becoming aware of what you are ‘aware’ of.

 

• By accepting that for now perhaps, this is the situation.  It is not accepting it forever necessarily but just for now until you are comfortable to practice accepting more.

 

• By observing your own thoughts and patterns around things but doing this without judgement.  Just observing situations for what they are – experiences in life.

 

• By noticing your resistance to experiences.  Just because we have always reacted a certain way, does not mean it was helpful.

 

• By reflecting on positive experiences.

 

• By questioning why you may feel the way you do when situations arise and accepting what you may have control over.

 

• By letting go of judgement and criticism.

 

• By practicing detaching yourself from being reliant on things/people/places to make you happy.  You are enough and you will be able to carry on even when things do not work out.

 
 My questions to you are:
 
How are you able to move toward a life you desire with the values that are important to you, in spite of any barriers? 
 
Is what you are doing currently, propelling you forward in your life based on your values?
 
And remember:
By being less harsh toward yourself and showing kindness and acceptance of self is key.  Afterall, you are the one who speaks the most to you!  Be specific and thoughtful when you speak kind words to yourself.

If you would like to increase acceptance in your life, feel free to contact me at: theresa@connectingdotscounselling.au and together we can put some of these practices into practice!

The book ACT made Simple second edition by Russ Harris and The book The Mindfulness & Acceptance Workbook for Anxiety second edition by John P. Forsyth, PhD and Georg H. Eifert, PhD, has been the inspiration for this blog.