Called to Care

 
Called To Care

Are you caring for someone in need?

Caring for a family member or friend who may be physically ill or have a mental illness, can be a very emotional and difficult time for all involved no matter what the age.

I write this from a place of experience and empathy to all of you, who at some time or another, have been in a situation where you were the carer of someone in need.

Faced with dealing with several concerns, issues and practicalities around caring for the loved one or friend can be overwhelming. All whilst trying to navigate through this ‘new’ world and trying to keep some normality for oneself, partner or other children.

This can be a unique experience for us. The knock-on effect is real. People, friends, family react differently and some of these reactions may impact you further. We do not need judgement from others, and yet, we may get it regardless.

It can feel like a loss, loss of self, loss of the way things used to be, as we try to go through the process in the way we need to, what works for us, what feels right for us, in the way we can manage or not manage. We may feel like we are on autopilot.

For some of you, the reality may be that you are doing this alone. For others, support groups, social workers, and family friends are used as a great source of help.
For me, I found a few things incredibly valuable. One of these was keeping a record of events.

💙️Keeping a record of events/journal
This was my ‘lifesaver’ – my sanity to a point. I wrote everything down. Each conversation, appointments, procedures, dates, times, opinions, names of doctors, visitors, ward numbers, medications etc. Without realising it then, it helped me feel like I had some ‘control’ over a situation that felt beyond my control. It helped me put things into perspective and clarified most of the ‘blur’ of information I accumulated. This ultimately led to highlighting necessary information that was needed in order to move in the right direction.

💙Explaining Illness
Communicating honestly with your someone you are caring for can be so useful in helping them to adjust to a serious medical condition. Meeting them where they are at and validating how they are feeling about the situation they are in. Helping them to feel involved in their care in some way.

💙Family dynamics
There may come a time when members of the family are impacted by the change of routine. It can prove helpful to be a little flexible during these times and create a ‘new normal’ where possible.
Remember, you may need to include others in conversation, like a school teacher or grandparent, or work place where those who are being made aware, can look for signs of stress and step in or pass on information where needed.
In the case of siblings of an ill child, this can present with some challenging moments. It may be helpful for parents to be aware of their other children and how these children are dealing with the illness of their sibling. Although it may prove difficult, spending some time with other siblings can be beneficial to those children that may be feeling ‘left out’.

💙Behaviour and Emotions
Having a sick family member can ‘test’ the family unit. A child and adult may have many feelings about the changes affecting his or her body and so being given opportunities to express fears and feelings is important and helpful. Routines getting disrupted and constant visits to hospitals and the like can really trigger many underlying concerns and can cause upheaval to schedules that once were in place.
Sometimes behaviour of children in the household may be disruptive or unacceptable. Keeping routine as ‘normal’ as possible will go a long way in keeping the household running smoothly and helping with the coping of the situation.

💙Who supports you?
The stress we can experience as carers can vary in its intensity and frequency. It may leave us with little energy to do much else. Wherever possible, try to put supports in place that can enhance your wellbeing. It could be as simple as taking a long shower or having a much-needed cuppa. Whichever you choose, savour every minute so you can feel a little more renewed and ready for the next challenge.

​#carer #family #mindarie #australia #support #selfcare