Emotions

What is their purpose and what are they trying to tell us.

It is the body’s way of letting us know, that we need to take action in some way.  The only way I can really explain this for the purpose of this blog, is to give some examples you may relate to.

Imagine you are struck with fear, now imagine you take time to question that feeling and ask yourself, if you are in actual danger that you need to flee from or is it danger that your thoughts have amplified?  Depending on which one, you can take action and start to calm yourself or of course you can get yourself to safety.

Another example could be when you feel disappointment.  In asking yourself why, you may find that your initial quick response is not actually the real reason for your disappointment. 

You may think, ‘Oh I am disappointed because I failed the test.’  After being curious about that feeling of disappointment, you may discover that you are actually disappointed with yourself because you thought you put in so much effort only to fail. 
Explore even further and you may discover that you did put in effort however, it was effort that was too focused on one particular area and it would have served you better to balance your efforts evenly. 

Emotions of course are all part of being human and a way we communicate with others.  What happens if you feel a whole lot of something and don’t know what to do with what you are feeling?

Ever heard of the saying ‘name it to tame it?’
We literally would do well to put a name to our feelings.  There are emotion wheels you can use to help you with the many different emotion words you could use.
Naming your emotions helps you to grasp what you are actually feeling.  Saying that name can lower the impact of the emotion.  You have brought a certain sense of understanding which in turn brings a little bit of self compassion to the situation.   Writing words or thoughts on a page just to get them out of your head or writing a few sentences about what you are experiencing in your body can be incredibly helpful to understanding what you are feeling and why.
For example, ‘Oh so I feel annoyed, yes I feel really annoyed, because that was unfair.  Oh, wait a minute, I really don’t like unfairness, that is why I am annoyed as fairness if something I value. 

Emotions tie in nicely with our values as per the example above.  Sometimes we may feel we do not like confrontation and fear or panic may creep in.  In this instance, maybe you really value peace, calm, seeking to understand or acceptance.  The same with feeling disrespected.  Perhaps you value respect and more so, boundaries.  Do you need to put in a boundary in this instance?

Emotions are one of those things that comes and goes like a tide of the ocean.  Don’t try to force them to stop coming or try to push them back.  Don’t hold onto them or feed them over and over as this can be both exhausting and pointless.
Instead, question them without judgement, be open to them, and seek to understand them, but remember to let them go once they have served their purpose. 

Emotions can help us to change, become motivated, strive to improve ourselves, protect ourselves, connect with others, help us to learn from our mistakes, help us communicate to others that we are feeling a certain way, encourages us to explore, reminds us we may need time to rest or calm down.

When we open the door to discovering and learning more about how we react and interact, we grow.  Just because we have always reacted a certain way, does not mean we have to continue to do so. 

‘I gave myself permission to feel and experience all of my emotions. In order to do that, I had to stop being afraid to feel. In order to do that, I taught myself to believe that no matter what I felt or what happened when I felt it, I would be okay.’
Iyanla Vanzant