Feeling Guilty for Relaxing

Feeling Guilty for Relaxing!

I had a conversation with a friend about a recent holiday and recognised that we had both experienced feelings of guilt when we tried to relax. What is up with that? 🤷‍♀️

Have you ever felt this way? Well, it is more common than you might think. A lot of us feel this way, especially when we have been so productive and busy only to stop all of that to lie on the couch.

Ooh, I can hear the questions now. Do we not deserve to lie on the couch? What is expected of me? Should I be doing this right now?

There is always something to do, to get done right?  So, if we don’t do these things, does that mean we have dropped the ball, are lazy or just uninterested? And so, the wrestle in our mind begins.  You fight this notion because you are not a lazy person, you are a person that manages to get things done.   You fight this notion so much that you totally abandon your attempt to relax!

That being said, not sure about you, but I definitely find that towards the middle to end of a holiday, I am able to ‘let go’ of some of that guilt and start to embrace my relaxation.

So how do we embrace self-care?  Firstly, by reframing how we think about it.  What if, I told you that self-care (making yourself a priority), is actually being productive?  Yip, this is because you are actively prioritising self-care time to achieve a goal of feeling rested or refreshed.  We know that self-care can come in many forms.  Recognising when you may need rest is just one part of it.   

There can of course, be many reasons why we might experience ‘relaxation guilt’, however starting with letting go of things like what you think you ‘should’ be doing instead, letting go of the idea that because your partner is busy, you need to be busy too and reframing for yourself, the idea that what you are doing right now (resting), is a necessary and healthy part of your ongoing wellbeing.

Just like with any emotion you experience, once you are aware of your feelings and you acknowledge them, you then create space to stop resisting them and still carry on with what you are doing.
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However, there is hope! It is possible to experience the feelings of guilt, with the knowledge that it is okay AND at the same time, prioritise self-care. Remember, all your feelings are allowed and valid. It just might take a few practices of implementing that self-care before it begins to feel more accepted by yourself.

 
“Take a rest. A field that has rested yields a beautiful crop.” – Ovid