Finding The Gold

What do I mean by this?

Imagine for a moment that you are the gold/treasure seeker. You have decided that you are purposefully going to seek out the gold. The terrain may not be quite as smooth as you would have liked, and you may even spend hours, days or even weeks trying to find that hidden gold.

Now take this concept and relate it to the young people in your life.

Imagine for a moment that you are still the seeker of treasure; however, the treasure looks different.

You notice your young person not slamming the door that night, or notice how they spoke kindly to another adult, or you notice that they showed willingness. But you don't stop here, you then communicate this to them and let the effect of this action take hold. You are becoming that seeker of moments, of actions, of abilities, strengths, characteristics or values. Not gold in the typical form, but a valuable treasure, nonetheless.

You see, when we are surrounded by children and young people who are displaying behaviours that we deem to be challenging, it can often be the case that these behaviours then become all that we see and all that we expect.   Our belief in them alters and our belief in ourselves in the way we interact with them alters.

Let me ask you this, do you want your young person to succeed and be the best version of themselves and therefore going out into the world brining and sharing the best version of themselves?  Imagine what impact this would have on them and the people they interact with.

Surely our young people, would want to hear how you appreciated them not slamming the door that night, or that you noticed how they spoke kindly to another adult or that you really appreciated their willingness that you happened to notice.

So, imagine what would happen if you were to start your treasure hunt.  Noticing, looking further and deeper for those little treasures, despite some of them being very well buried.
This starts with our own mindset shift.  What behaviour and actions do we want to see from our young people?  Look for those treasure moments and amplify them!  The treasures are there, so we can notice them and communicate them. 

This may feel strange for you to do and strange for the person you are communicating with at first, and that is okay.  When we try different things there can be a period of uncertainty or apprehension.  This too is normal and okay.  It is when we persevere and allow ourselves and others grace to navigate the ‘newness’, the change, that we tend to find the treasures we are after.   

I get it, it can be really difficult to move away from the habit of always noticing and pointing out the unwanted behaviour, but knowing the reasons behind why this is such an empowering and beautiful mindset to have and action to implement, may just encourage you to give it a go and before you know it, there will be things you notice that you are in awe of.  

Yes, in awe of the young person in front of you! You may start to see this young person differently.  You may also start to experience something different within yourself too.

“When you concentrate much on the faults, you shall be at fault. When you always focus on the solutions, you shall always be a solution. Don’t just find faults; be a solution digger! You shall definitely meet some faults in your journey to digging for a solution, but mind your true purpose: solution! Don’t just find faults; be the solution to the problems you see!”
― Ernest Agyemang Yeboah