Loneliness and the Young Adult

Yes, it is a real thing.
Some young adults might say that leaving school for good, is the best thing they have ever done – racing to get out that 'school door'. However, leaving school and entering the ‘big wide world’ full of the initial excitement about having ‘freedom,’ can turn into doubt, anxiety, and loneliness.  This can be very confusing and scary time for a young adult!

There is hope and with that, some good reminders and skills that you, or a young adult you know, can use to help you to navigate this new phase in life.

Let us back track a bit.
At school, in the adolescent phase, teens are often trying to figure out where and how they fit into this world. Who is in it with them and discovering a whole lot about themselves and those around them.  This goes on for a couple of years and during this time they have probably been supported by family, friends, teachers, coaches and other professionals.  

Now imagine for a moment, a new year, new school term starting however this time, after getting up and attending school for approximately 13 years of their lives, they enter a new phase of not attending the environment and not seeing the people they have been used to and expect.  

Just like any change, the adjustment from one environment to another, may take time. It may also bring with it, unexpected feelings.
So, what changes might be happening?

• Changes can happen amongst friendships as the young adult discovers new friends or new values about themselves that pull them away from previous friendships and towards others.
• Changes of expectations from others might be occurring both in their homelife and in their study and work environments. 
• Change might look like a shift in the social activities they once did or sports team they once belonged to.
• And of course, there may be changes around navigating priorities and stress management as they try to balance their study workload and job they might have. 

So, it is very possible that your young person might find that making friends and being involved in community with others, takes more effort than they were expecting. This can come as a shock to those who leave school and are expecting that things might stay as they were at school.

So, what can your young person do?

Young person, this is for you!

I would just like to encourage you to firstly acknowledge how you are feeling, then remind yourself, that your friends are more than likely, experiencing similar challenges to you.  

Remind yourself that your values may have altered, and what was once important to you has changed.  And that this is okay, our values can change, as we grow and change.   

Try talking it out with someone you trust.  Then give yourself permission to take the time to adjust to this wonderful, new phase in your life, full of discovery, challenges, growth, and opportunities.

Remind yourself that you do not have to have your path clearly laid out and that this is a time of exploration and building on all the qualities and strengths that you have gained in your past.

This is all new to you, remember, you had 13 years navigating the ‘school’ phase, so give yourself an equal opportunity for this next period in your life.

Remember to stay connected, by connecting with yourself and with others. 

 “Think back to the most important experiences of your life, the highest highs, the greatest victories, the most daunting obstacles overcome. How many happened to you alone? I bet there are very few. When you understand that being connected to others is one of life’s greatest joys, you realize that life’s best comes when you initiate and invest in solid relationships.” -John C. Maxwell