Self Compassion

 
“An empty lantern provides no light.  Self-care is the fuel that allows your light to shine brightly.” - Unknown
 
If someone said to you, there is a practice, that you can do right now, that could improve your mental health, your attitude, your relationships, your outlook on life, your perspective, your behaviours, your understanding of yourself, your emotional responses, your approach to situations and your suffering, would you be even just a little curious as to what that was?
 
Right now, in this moment, allow yourself to at least explore the possibility that this statement may be true.
 
“Remember you have been criticizing yourself for years and it hasn’t worked. Try approving of yourself and see what happens.” – Louise L Hay
 
I love the above quote - let’s do more of what is working, let’s do something different!
 
 So what is self compassion?
What it isn’t, is just some popular word bouncing around, it is a real and really beneficial skill.  Maybe you can relate to this, but for me it is about the following:
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• First and foremost, it is something that takes practice and repeating.
• It is the ability to show myself self-care and therefore showing myself the respect and love I need, to be able to navigate through all that life has in store for me.
• It is understanding that I am someone who makes mistakes and I try to look at this with curiosity rather than any guilt or harsh criticism.  Granting myself that same forgiveness I might give someone else, instead this time I forgive myself for the error and I do it differently next time.  “One of the basic rules of the universe is that nothing is perfect. Perfection simply doesn't exist.....Without imperfection, neither you nor I would exist”― Stephen Hawking  
• It is the ability that I have, in understanding myself a little more and then acting on things in a way that shows inward kindness and care.  Going forward in a way that connects me to the version of myself I value most.
• It is celebrating my achievements.  Knowing what an achievement looks like to me. It can be the smallest of successes and not necessarily the huge gains or accomplishments.  Taking these and acknowledging them in a way that shows that I am proud of the way I handled that, or worked hard on that, or changed that or even thought about that.
• It is acknowledging that encouraging words and ways are the things that energise and comfort me.
• It is the ability to be flexible just enough, so that I open my mind to learn something new about myself and respond to that knowledge without judgement or criticism.
• It is asking for help when I need it, because in that moment, I have acknowledged, that what is best for me in this situation, is support.
• It is accepting that in this moment, I am okay.  In this moment, I am doing the best I can.  In this moment right now, I am human and worthy of forgiveness and capable of change.
• It is seeking out moments, people, situations and opportunities to be grateful for, recognising them in my life and reminding myself of these when my negative and unrealistic thoughts are taking me captive.
• It is using language that builds up, nurtures, encourages, and inspires me to continue, to grow or to heal.

 
All in all, showing and practicing self compassion regularly, shifts our focus and before long, we start to look out for things we are grateful for, willing to learn, ways to enhance our self care. 
It creates a space for us to always come back to, a space that is free from judgement, instead it’s a space of calm, safety and autonomy.  A space we get to feel empowered every day, a space we get to take the lead and enhance little by little and step by step.

“Plant seeds of happiness, hope, success, and love; it will come back to you in abundance.  This is the law of nature” – Steve Maraboli