Self Worth

 
You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection.
— SHARON SALZBERG
 
 
Before you come with me for a moment to explore what self-worth looks like, ask yourself these questions.

What would it mean to you to feel worthy, of value?

If you were to dream just a little and you felt that you, were good enough, what would you be doing differently?
  
But what if you don’t know you that you lack self-worth, but are constantly seeking approval, pursuing the next best thing, trying to fit into a mould that looks like perfection, relying on others to boost the way you see yourself and then placing value on their opinions of you.  This is when you may want to explore how placing value on yourself as the wonderful human you are, who belongs in this world right now, right here, can greatly impact your life. When others tell us we are not worthy or make us feel we are not worthy, we can be drawn into believing it and yet we have every right to be here in this world, to be loved, to be cared for to be contributing, to belong. 
  
Being alive, breathing, being human is something we all experience.  We have come into this world, we are worthy.

• We are human, we go through difficult times, we expect this as this is what living looks like, but we also explore, restart, experience joy and growth. 


• We are human, we criticize, we compare, we shame, we shout, but we also rejoice, we thrive, we love, we share, we connect.


• We are human, we make mistakes, we try to be perfect, we let ego interfere, we hide, we bully, but we also practice to make progress, we listen, we encourage, we support others.


• We are human, we are trying all the time, throughout our lives, to stay alive, to live, to experience and to be some kind of version of ourselves we think we should be.

 
Being on a journey where you begin to leave all the comparisons, the unkind self-talk, the self-criticism, the unhealthy behaviours, the shame, the placing value on things that pile up around you that hold little to no real fulfilment, you begin to discover what that pocket of authenticity feels like for that best version of yourself, that is when you begin the journey to self-worth.
 
In moments when you feel that pang of rejection or blame or humiliation, are you in tune with your awareness of these initial feelings and reactions in a way that supports your self-worth?  In other words, acknowledging them and reminding yourself that you deserve love, care and kindness and that it starts with you.  Question your reaction, be curious about it and if you are still using words that do not build you up, just as you would build someone else up in the moment, then reword, reframe, reset.    
​Why, because you are human, you are constantly learning and feeling and adjusting.   
 
If you are to blame for instance, forgive yourself – you are not perfect, and you shouldn’t strive to be as it is not sustainable to do so.  Own your imperfections but them celebrate your courage to do that or to have the conversations.  Celebrate even the smallest of your wins.  This is such an important part of building on your new way of thinking and practice.
 
Having your very own catch phrases can be so helpful.  For example: ‘I may not be able to do this, but it is okay because I haven’t done it before – practice makes progress’.
‘I am scared, but that is okay I will still do it until I come out the other side of fear.’
 
Accept your ‘everythingness’ by supporting yourself just like you would support and be kind to friends.  Being a supportive inner voice for yourself can be so nurturing and comforting.  Focusing on hope filled conversations with yourself, not fear filled.  Undoing any habits of negative self talk, that have been formed over the years, by changing how you speak to yourself sends your brain a message of encouragement and excitement.  Slowly but surely, with your persistence and practice, this will become the new pathway your brain automatically jumps to.
 
We are humans, we are complex, we are intriguing, we are confusing but we are absolutely doing the very best we can for now.  And we will do it all over again tomorrow.
 
Remember, you have been criticizing yourself for years, and it hasn't worked. Try approving of yourself and see what happens.
— LOUISE HAY