​Routines

We all have them but may not realise the importance of them in our lives. 

Perhaps you are a parent, guardian, grandparent.  Routines not only benefit you keep a sense of stability and control over what sometimes can be a chaotic and unpredictable experience when raising or looking after family members, but they also benefit the children in your lives.  

Taking your time and effort in establishing routines with careful consideration for all involved, helps create an environment that becomes predictable and that brings with it, a sense of security/safety experience.

In one of my previous blogs https://connectingdotscounselling.au/blog/understanding-depression
I explain how keeping a routine, like making your bed each morning for instance.  This kind of thing can often be enough to keep you stable/grounded when you feel overwhelmed, and you feel like things are out of your control.  Making your bed, you can control and there can be satisfaction in knowing that there is a part of your life you have set up meaningfully, to keep things ‘in order’. 

What else can routine do for us adults and our children or family?

• As I have mentioned, it can help give us or your children a sense of purpose, stability, predictability and security and trust.  This can lead to a happier and less anxious version of yourself or of your child.   Helping children to learn that there are things they can predict will happen during the day, after school, after dinner, before bed and therefore potentially reducing the ‘pushing the boundaries’ scenario to some degree.
• Having routines interwoven into family life, sets a good basis for possible family traditions which can create great family values and build relationships.  For those of you who would like to know more about the benefits of family traditions, well you may just have to wait for another one of my blogs.
• What about children and routine?  Being an education assistant for many years in primary school and being involved in everyday routines of the school environment, I absolutely can testify to the benefits of routine.  Not only does it teach children what it feels like to have consistency in their life, but also an important life skills of time management, growing in independence and in confidence.   They learn to expect what comes next and this can help immensely with any kind of change or transition in their life.  
• Being exposed to routine and taking part in what actions the routine requires, sets us up to practice responsibility and of course with that, accountability.
• Oh, and let us not forget, routine of course helps us stay organised and on track in our often busy schedules.

So let us look at how you can be successful in the implantation of your routines.

Collaborative discussions wherever possible in the setting up of a routine.  When you are involved in the decision-making process, you feel more valued, appreciated, respected and included.  We want to empower our children in everyday tasks and having discussions with them and including them in the decision-making process, can be a great place to start.   Being realistic about each person’s capabilities and setting them up for success.  Practice makes progress!

Also, when something is not working, making space to have those discussions and work toward a solution that works for all of you.
A word on your wellbeing though as far as sticking to routine.  Sure, put the routines in place, but also allow yourself to occasionally, to be flexible with the routines you have in place.  Being too rigid in your implementation of routine can also lead to overwhelm and frustration if there is no flexibility in your thinking in this regard.  Letting go of routine occasionally shows your ability to be flexible in your thinking and may just shine a light on how or if you need to adjust something.  This way you also model to your family that you can deal with change.

So, what routines have you implemented in your life for yourself or your family?
What routines would you like to implement?
What do you want your legacy to be going forward? 
Are you creating lifelong benefits by establishing routines that allow for connection in your family on a regular basis?

It is never too late!